


The Gathering of Stones

by Sapphicsarah



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:56:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8564908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphicsarah/pseuds/Sapphicsarah
Summary: After Bernie's return from Ukraine the two co-leads are decidedly not back together. So Hanssen sends them to a conference in Salisbury.





	1. Stonehenge

“Eyes on the road Ms. Wolfe,” Serena nearly barks as Bernie weaves her way across the lanes. 

Bernie is really quite a fast driver, and according to Serena, easily distracted. Serena is gripping the side of her door and her knuckles are turning white with the effort, frustrating Bernie to no end. Serena had been continuously muttering that she would be driving if her car had not broken down. Again. It seems Serena has terrible luck with cars these days. So here they are, Serena gripping the car with all her might, and Bernie clenching her jaw as they fly down the motorway.

It has been two weeks since Bernie’s ignominious return from the Ukraine and Serena had barely spoken a kind word to the other surgeon.  Patient care had not been compromised, but any conversation that Bernie had attempted to start had been instantly hijacked by Serena. Bernie had tried again and again to get Serena to listen to what she had to say. She had even been practicing her speech in the mirror! But it seemed to be hopeless, as Serena avoided her at every turn, often leaving the room or the office or the corridor or wherever they happened to be at the time. No screaming matches had happened, but Serena had come close at times. Theatre was the only place where they were together for prolonged periods of time, but even that space had been tainted by Bernie’s absence; Cameron was there now.

He had started his studies again, and had chosen AAU as his first placement. Serena and Cameron had really hit it off in his first week and by the time Bernie returned she felt entirely out of the loop. They even had inside jokes? And the two of them seemed thick as thieves. Serena had taken him under her wing and Bernie could already see his confidence growing and he was blossoming. She feels that familiar pang of guilt at having left her child once more, but despite the distance between her and Serena, she never feels as if the other surgeon is getting between her and Cameron. With Marcus it had been a competition, a good cop and bad cop situation. With Serena, she still feels important.

In theatre, Serena will silently prompt Bernie to ask Cameron or Morven questions, guiding them through the procedure. Cameron has lunch with Bernie nearly every day, at Serena’s suggestion, sometimes with Jason joining them. A ritual once shared between Serena and Bernie.

Despite these small and unacknowledged acts of peace, the two heads of AAU are not coexisting peacefully. Indeed, there are arguments in the office, bitter exchanges over the nurse’s station, and nearly constant bickering in theatre. Even in front of Cameron. Bernie cannot remember the last time Serena left the office without slamming the door and she knows it won’t be long before their endless battle bleeds into patient care. She tries again and again each day, hoping today is the day Serena will reach out. But Serena's voice echoes in her head, and she falls asleep nearly every night with the phrase  "take it to the grave grudges" whispering in her ear. 

The worst part is that Serena has been looking absolutely stunning. It is also the best part of returning. Bernie had missed everything about Serena, especially simply looking at Serena. There were little things she had forgotten, like the way her eyebrow arches when she thinks someone is an utter fool, or how her voice is especially husky in the morning, how she jokes with Raf.

Raf’s welcoming of Bernie had been slightly warmer than Serena’s cold shoulder, but only slightly. On her first day back he had mentioned in a rather hurried manner that Serena had suffered immensely in her absence. Childish rhymes and rumors floating throughout the hospital had taken their toll. And Bernie had not paid any of it. Raf also pointedly mentioned that Serena was not the only one she left behind that day.

So Bernie had set about trying to right the wrongs she had made in her hasty departure from AAU. She visited Fletch and all his children and gave them the small trinkets she had brought back for them. She had tea with Morven and Essie, caught up with Sasha in the break room, and had a chat with Dom on the roof. She had even visited Hanssen in his office and sought out Ric for a drink at Albie’s.  Although Rome was not built or rebuilt in a day, Bernie had begun the slow and steady rebuilding of her life at Holby. Stone by stone she repaired burned bridges and began to feel settled once more.

However, AAU was still a warzone. No casualties had been had yet, but the situation was dire. Bernie felt every silence like a piercing hot knife to her abdomen and the feeling was getting more brutal each day. Serena’s disinterest in any sort of conversation about what happened between the two of them had Bernie terrified that she had absolutely missed her chance. The email she had received had said Serena was tired of being angry. But that clearly was not the case, even two weeks later.

The despair came to a head one day when after a long shift Bernie reached out and asked if Serena would like to join her for a glass at Albie’s. In all their friendship, Serena had only turned down a drink with Bernie once, right after she had found out about Arthur. Bernie mentions that it will be a group of them. Cameron, Morven, and Jason will be there, along with Raf and Fletch. The whole gang really. But Serena simply glances up and looks at her as if she had not understood a single thing she said and says bitterly “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Ukrainian.”

Bernie begins to dread coming into work, and finds herself nearly in tears one Thursday in the car park. She is gathering her courage when Hanssen walks by. He makes eye contact for only a split second, but Bernie knows he saw. She wipes her eyes and blows her nose and walks into the hospital with her head held high. She still is a good soldier after all.

It is in the afternoon when they receive the email from Hanssen. A mandate for further education has made it necessary for Serena and Bernie to clock more hours of learning time. And the dead line is Monday. The email snidely concludes with a reservation for the two of them at a hotel in Salisbury where a medical conference is to be held this weekend. It seems they have no choice.

They both read and reread the email as they sit in tense silence in the office. Bernie continuously glances up to gauge Serena’s reaction as the silence continues. Her face is stormy and Bernie can tell she is fuming. Finally she caves and says “We could drive together?”

“Fine,” Serena nearly snarls, as she closes her laptop with a snap before packing up her things and marching out the door. The next day is much the same. Bernie pouts and attempts to reconcile and Serena storms about in a fury and a silence so cold it makes Bernie shiver. No progress has been made by the time they get in the car and Bernie drives out of the car park with Serena in the passenger seat, silently seething.

After a short time, Bernie stops at a small café and orders Serena a black coffee and two sugars. The drive will not be too long, but Bernie knows Serena needs coffee by the way she bounces her knee and keeps tucking her hair behind her ear. So she stops and buys her a cup and it is accepted silently. Only after the cup is nearly half gone does Serena murmur quietly “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bernie replies, as the day begins to fade and the golden hour sweeps over the land. She cannot help but feel happy at Serena’s contented hum as she sips the heavenly concoction. They continue to drive for a few more hours, nothing but classical music from the car radio being heard between then. 

As they near Salisbury they approach Stonehenge. When the stones come into view Bernie pulls over and steps out of the car. She leans against the vehicle on the side of the road and lights up a cigarette as she watches the sun descend behind the historical site. Serena joins her after a moment and walks over to the driver’s side and leans back. She does not look at Bernie, instead gazing fixedly at the sunset. They stand there in silence for a few minutes as they watch the dying of the day.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it,” Serena says quietly. She watches as the sun dips down behind the stones and the sky turns red and then violet. Her words are the least cutting thing Serena has said to Bernie all week and she turns to Serena. She ignores the ancient stones and the splendor of the sunset and instead looks at the woman beside her.

“Yes,” she replies. Long shadows of the stones stretch out across the countryside and come to lie at Serena’s feet. Serena’s hair is blowing softly in the breeze and her face is gently lit by the fading sunbeams. “Yes it is.”

When the sun has well and truly vanished they begin to shiver and move back into the car. They drive for a few more miles before finding the hotel where their conference is being held. Once there, they park and bring in their luggage to the lobby. Serena moves to a sitting area to call and check in with Jason. It is a small window between quiz shows so Bernie heads over to the smiling concierge to check them in.

The concierge is a young woman with a kind looking face and Bernie smiles back and says softly, “Two rooms for the medical conference. A Campbell and Wolfe.”

The woman nods and turns to her computer to bring up their records. Her smile fades and she looks up at Bernie uncertainly. “Um, I am sorry ma’am but there seems to be some sort of mix up.”

Bernie’s heart lurches and begins to pound. “What kind of mix up?” she asks hesitantly.

The concierge says through a polite smile “It seems your reservation was changed from two rooms to one. And seeing as the medical conference is in town, that room has since been reserved by another party.”

Bernie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. “What are you saying?”

“I’m so sorry ma’am. But we've only got the one room for you. It seems a-” the girl looks down and types for a moment. “It seems a Mr. Hanssen called and changed the reservation this morning.”

Bernie lets out an exasperated sigh and her hand reaches up to her face. Two fingers begin to rub her furrowed brow. “Alright, we will take the double room.” Her hand reaches out for the room key.

“Oh,” the young woman says surprised. “I’m not sure I expressed myself well just now ma’am.”

“What do you mean?” Bernie asks as her eyes narrow.

“It’s just that, it’s not a double room.” Bernie’s heart sinks.  “I’m sorry ma’am; it just has the one bed.” The concierge nervously holds out the key as she looks into Bernie’s irate expression.

“Of course it does,” Bernie mutters under her breath before taking the key.  “I don’t suppose there are any cots available?” The concierge quickly shakes her head, looking utterly terrified. Bernie makes sure to smile before she turns away and utters “Thank you.” It was not the girl’s fault anyway. No, it was a one Henrik Hanssen.

Bernie spins and slowly walks over towards Serena who is finishing up her phone call with Jason. As she nears, Serena hangs up and stands, pulling her purse over her shoulder and wheeling her suitcase towards Bernie. However, she instantly knows something is up by Bernie’s expression.

“What’s wrong now?” Serena asks exasperatedly.

Bernie pauses for a moment before carefully saying, “It seems a Mr. Hanssen called the front desk this morning…”

“Ok…” Serena drawls out, waiting for the penny to drop.

“And it seems that he changed our reservation from two rooms to one.”

“Right,” Serena says uncertainly.

“Right,” Bernie echoes. She takes a deep breath before she stammers “There’s… there’s only one bed.”

Serena simply stares at her for a moment. The information seems to sink in and Bernie can see the anger spark in Serena’s eyes.

“Oh for fuck’s sake” Serena growls, and she promptly turns and stalks towards the elevators, leaving a bewildered Bernie in her wake.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Sand and Stone Into Pearl

The ride in the lift is filled with tense silence as they look straight ahead and not at each other. The lift dings and they step out onto the fourth floor and head towards their room. Bernie moves forward and slowly opens the door with the key and they step inside. They march in and come to a halt, the two surgeons seemingly stunned by the presence of one large and looming bed in the middle of their hotel room.

After a moment, Bernie says “Right, I’ll take the floor then.” She wheels her bag towards the window and begins to unpack it. She is halfway through unpacking her pajamas when she hears Serena speak.

“You can’t take the floor Ms. Wolfe.” Bernie looks up at the unexpected interruption and sees Serena still standing at the foot of the bed. Serena turns and mutters “Your back,” and shrugs her shoulder before beginning to open her own suitcase.

“Ah,” Bernie mutters and turns back to the task at hand.

“We will just have to share it,” Serena mutters angrily before disappearing into the bathroom. Bernie goes still after she hears the shower turn on and shakes her head at the direction of her thoughts. She tries to chase away thoughts of Serena in the shower, of Serena wet and dripping.

“Nope,” Bernie whispers and quickly changes into her pajamas and crawls into the massive bed. When the sound of the shower continues, she grabs her headphones from her bag and plugs them into her phone and listens to some good and wholesome classical music. It is with the sound of Cavalleria Rusticana - Intermezzo that Serena reappears in delicate silk and hair clinging to her face in soft, wet curls. Bernie instantly feels desire pool in her belly and also feels love grip her heart and her breath hitches.

The undeniable domesticity of Serena coming to join Bernie in bed after a shower makes Bernie ache and she quickly turns her head and looks towards the windows. She moves to the farthest edge of the shared bed and attempts to sleep, knowing they have an early start in the morning. Serena moves about the room and Bernie listens to the sound of her quiet movements as she turns out the light and feels the soft dip in the bed as Serena joins her. As Serena curls up on her own side of the largest bed in the world, Bernie can suddenly smell the familiar and luscious scent of Serena’s shampoo, and she buries her head further into the pillow. She closes her eyes tightly in the darkness, attempting to block out all presence of the other woman from her five senses. It does not help, and her dreams are filled with Serena.

 

 

In the morning, Bernie awakens long before her alarm, an old habit from her army days. She instantly becomes aware of her surrounding, and feels strangely at peace in the hotel room darkness. Then she feels soft breathing on her neck and she shivers as the hairs are gently disturbed. She turns slightly and sees that sometime during the night Bernie and Serena had migrated towards each other. Serena is curled around Bernie from behind, her forehead resting on the back of her head, and her left hand softly resting on Bernie’s hip. The touch is almost too much, and knowing Serena would never allow such a thing were she conscious, Bernie slowly disentangles herself and heads to the bathroom to shower.

The steaming heat soothes her and readies her for the day. As she steps out of the shower she wipes the fog from the mirror and looks at her reflection. _I look tired_ , Bernie thinks. Her wet hair frames her face, and she leans her arms on the counter and lets her head hang for a moment. She has no idea how she can survive a whole weekend with Serena. There is only one more night in the bed, but Bernie feels utterly unprepared for her own feelings. Feelings had never been her strong suit, and her love for Serena seemed to be boundless, endless, and vast, reaching beyond her own body and overwhelming her. The greatness of the feelings had frightened her, and she had run to Ukraine and then back. And now she was here in a hotel in Salisbury, with Serena asleep in their bed.

Serena looked lovely when she slept, and Bernie was genuinely worried now that she had been reminded of this. The closeness between the two of them required for the day was not unreasonable. They could attend the lectures and take their meals separately. But Bernie knew at the end of the day they would need to come back here and sleep before leaving in the morning. She shakes her head and begins to comb her hair, then applies a hint of makeup and decides she looks less tired now.  

Serena has woken sometime during Bernie’s time in the bathroom and is already dressed and sitting on the bed with her phone, most likely checking email. “Good morning,” Bernie says, though not expecting a response. She gets none and she collects her itinerary for the day and checks her smart suit for the evening’s formal dinner. Bernie had hung the suit the night before, and it hangs in the closet next to Serena’s own formal dress. After doing a final check of the room they leave and head down to the first event of the day.

Bernie’s own predictions of the day come true, and Serena avoids her at every turn. They eat breakfast alone and sit separately at the lectures on Malignant Hyperthermia and the demonstrations of newly available equipment. Bernie knows they could never afford most of the shiny new toys, but she loves to look at how Serena’s eyes light up, her excitement evident from across the room. Innovation had always excited both of them, even if they were not the innovators themselves.

By lunchtime Bernie realizes she has spent the majority of the morning simply staring at Serena and feels an utter fool. So she decides to go to a different seminar than the one Hanssen had highlighted in her itinerary. She looks at the schedule and sees there is a stress relief class. Studies had been coming out recently about overworked employees of the NHS and the need for relieving stress was paramount lest it lead to burn out and care giver fatigue. Bernie thinks she could use some relief from her stress and her pining for Serena, so she heads to the conference room at the end of the hall and enters, hoping to avoid the other woman.

Turns out it is essentially a breathing exercise class, simple coping mechanisms one can use on the go or in a stressful situation. Breathing in and out, eyes closed and counting _in- one, two, three- and out- one, two, three._ It is calm and peaceful and something Bernie already knows how to do, but the simple actions are soothing, and she feels her heartbeat slow as she mindfully inhales and exhales.

The woman leading the seminar is comforting and a hush fills the conference room as nearly thirty doctors simply breathe in and out. Bernie would feel silly if it was not actually helping. Her eyes drift shut and she _turns inward_ , as the woman’s voice says to do. For a few minutes she feels somewhat tranquil and free.

Then the quiet is interrupted by the woman saying they should pair up to practice “belly breathing.” She demonstrates with a volunteer, having the partner breathe deeply and press against the leader’s hand placed on the diaphragm. It all seems rather intimate but no one questions it as the other doctors pair up. Unfortunately, it seems the majority of those present already know someone, and Bernie cannot seem to find anyone to partner with. As the small crowd peels off, Bernie sees a lone figure hiding in the back corner. She approaches to see if they would be willing and realizes with a start that it is Serena.

She looks more relaxed than usual and Bernie feels her own body loosen at the mere sight. However, Serena’s entire demeanor changes when she sees who is coming towards her. “You have _got_ to be kidding me,” she scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Bernie holds her hands up in mock surrender and says “I’m willing if you are Serena.”

“Fine,” Serena says curtly after a beat. She moves forward and allows Bernie to wrap her hands around her torso and place her hands over her diaphragm. Bernie’s front is pressed near to Serena’s back and she places her head to the left of Serena’s. The closeness is intoxicating and Bernie fights to keep her eyes open. Serena on the other hand seems to be entirely devoted to the class, and begins to breathe in and out with the woman’s instructions and lets her eyes slide shut.

Bernie takes this rare opportunity to gaze at Serena unnoticed. She watches as the lines fade and the brow unfurrows, until she is all softness again. Then, quite by accident, Bernie begins to breathe with her and her nose grazes Serena’s left ear. Serena’s breath hitches and a quiet moan slips out as her mouth opens slightly. Her left hand comes up to grasp one of Bernie’s hands over her abdomen but falls away as soon as their skin touches. She seems uncomfortable so Bernie begins to withdraw, but stops as Serena whispers “Don’t.”

“Okay,” Bernie whispers back, moving her hands into place once more.

After a few minutes the exercise is complete and their time is up and the two break apart. As the crowd disperses Bernie and Serena remain still looking at one another. When the room is nearly empty Serena seems to come back to herself and begins to gather her things. She leaves the room quickly and does not say a word as she makes her way to the corridor.

Knowing Serena would most likely want to be alone between now and dinner, Bernie decides against following her. So she goes on a long walk around the city and she tries to shake off the heady desire tingling throughout her body and take in the sights. She walks by the cathedral and the river and meanders through the old and winding streets. When the sun has nearly vanished Bernie makes her way back to the hotel.

Finding the balance between courtly pursuit of Serena and downright stalking had been difficult these past two weeks.  Bernie felt she had maintained a distance so as to ensure Serena felt respected but wanted. However, she had no idea where Serena stood on anything. It was quite disconcerting to still not know how Serena felt about her.

 She knew Serena desired her, that much was made apparent this afternoon. Bernie thinks back to the soft moan that was so like the noises Serena had made in their office as she kissed her. _But was it enough,_ Bernie wonders. She returns to the hotel and takes the lift up to the room. When she enters she finds it still and empty. Serena must have already gone down. Bernie had left it quite late and realizes she only has about five minutes before she will need to be downstairs.

So, with army-like efficiency she dresses and dons her suit and checks her makeup before heading out the door. The lift is thankfully empty and she takes the moment to calm her nerves. She knows Serena will look stunning and she needs the solitude of the lift to gather her thoughts and prepare herself. However, the effort is futile when she turns the corner and finds Serena outside the main hall.

She is wearing black and Bernie feels her heart rate skyrocket. It takes her a second to realize that Serena is not looking back at her; rather she is looking at the floor searchingly. Bernie gulps and approaches her slowly, hands in her pockets.

“Serena?” she asks hesitantly.

“What?” Serena grumbles as she turns to Bernie with a scowl before leaning forward and looking back at the ground. She moves around almost in a circle and seems to be completely fascinated by the carpet.

“What… what are you doing?”

“I lost my earing if you must know,” Serena mutters, not breaking eye contact with the floor. “It’s the dangly pearl ones that my mother gave to me when I turned sixteen.” She moves further away and squints. After a moment she stops and stands upright.

“Well?” Serena says expectantly.

“Um…” Bernie utters pathetically, not understanding.

“Make yourself useful Ms. Wolfe,” Serena commands as she sweeps her hand and gestures to the ground. “If you can manage it,” she finishes under her breath as she turns away. Bernie hears it and feels the words piercingly, but turns to the ground and joins Serena in her search.

After a few moments of looking Bernie spies a small perfect pearl back by the door to the courtyard. She leans down and picks it up, holding the delicate jewel in her hands. Bernie thinks it strange that something which came from the depths of the ocean will adorn Serena. The tiny stone turned to beauty inside the waters. She finds herself jealous of an earring.  

“Serena,” she calls out, and the woman reappears from around the corner. “Got it,” she says triumphantly as she hold up her hand. The smile she hopes for does not appear on Serena’s face and the woman simply snatches the pearl from her hand and attempts to place it its rightful place. Bernie watches her, feeling the intimacy of the moment permeate her and loves the way Serena’s fingers deftly move and navigate the delicate piece of jewelry. After a moment it seems Serena is struggling and cannot quite get the earring in place. She huffs and drops her hands before holding out the pearl once more.

“I can’t seem to get it,” she mumbles, pointedly not meeting Bernie’s eyes.

Bernie smiles kindly and takes the offered earring and lets her fingers linger on Serena’s skin. She moves forward until they are sharing the same air. Serena’s back is against the wall and Bernie realizes with a start that the moment to a passerby would appear frightfully intimate. She finds she does not care and reaches up and pulls Serena’s earlobe down before sliding in the pearl. She takes the backstop and slips it on but does not move her hands when she sees the affect the moment is having on Serena.

Her eyes are closed tightly and her head is leaning slightly away as if to give Bernie more room to maneuver. Serena’s breathing is not ragged, but it is not easy either and Bernie feels drunk on her reaction. She lets the back of her fingers trail down the column of Serena’s neck and grins with satisfaction when Serena whimpers, the back of her head falling back to hit the wall with a soft thud.

 Bernie trails her fingertips down to trace the outline of Serena’s collar bone and notices that Serena’s chest is rising and falling rapidly. She seems almost undone by the soft caresses and suddenly the air is too thick and Bernie begins to breathe harder. She needs to hear Serena’s voice, she needs confirmation that she can continue. So she lets her fingers come to a halt in their exploration and murmurs “Serena…I-”

Serena’s eyes fly open at the sound of Bernie’s voice and she seems to become violently aware of their positions in the corridor. She straightens up away from the wall and nearly runs out the door and into the courtyard.

Bernie takes a moment to breathe in and out and whispers to herself “Right.” She gathers her courage and follows Serena into the night. She steps down the small stairwell and finds Serena near the balcony, her hands resting on the wall and looking out into the countryside. She looks like a queen surveying her kingdom and the moon is her sentry, rising to meet her.

The silver light of the evening casts a soft glow about Serena’s hair, and Bernie thinks she has never looked lovelier. She slowly approaches from the side, so as not to frighten Serena and comes to a stop a few meters from her, until they are gazing out into the darkness together. The cold stones of the courtyard feel heavy and the ivy meandering up the walls make it feel like another world, another time.

Bernie swallows and whispers “I’m sorry if I crossed a line Serena.” She pauses and looks over. “I just don’t know where we stand.” Serena says nothing and continues to ignore Bernie’s presence. When the silence stretches out Bernie breaks it and murmurs "I'm sorry," and turns back to head in for dinner. 

Only when Bernie moves to leave does Serena suddenly and fiercely whisper “I want you.” Bernie spins around and looks at Serena. Her shoulders are tight and she does not move from her spot at the wall but continues and says “I think I just need to get it out of my system.” She pauses and says “This… wanting you.”

Serena turns and looks at Bernie for the first time and the moon is behind her, rendering her ethereal and shining. Bernie’s breath catches and she steps forward without thinking, as if pulled to the moon like the tides.

“So let me have you once, and we can move on,” Serena says quickly, looking once more to the ground.

Bernie stops and realizes what Serena just said. Could she have her just once? To have her in her bed, warm and near and hers. She thinks back to this morning, having woken with Serena’s hand on her hip. The skin there burns at the memory and she knows it would never be enough. One night would never sate her need for Serena. But she finds herself whispering “Okay.”

The thought of having her is too much, even if it is just the once. Bernie has never been able to deny Serena much of anything.

“Good,” Serena says shortly as she gathers her skirts and marches back into the soft light of the corridor.

“What… now?” Bernie gasps as she turns to follow.

“Now,” Serena states with finality. Her eyes glint like steel. 

Bernie follows her, her thoughts a storm of terror and delight and she is lost in her own head as they ride the lifts back to the room, circumventing the whole affair of dinner altogether. The raging quiet of the lift almost overwhelms Bernie and she cannot look away from the side of Serena’s face. Serena on the other hand seems completely unaffected and has a slight scowl on her face as she quickly walks out the lift the moment the doors open.

She sweeps through the hall and towards their room, slowing as they near. She pulls out the key and stops as she fumbles to put it in the lock. Bernie notices that Serena’s hands are shaking, and she misses the keyhole and drops the keys. They hit the ground with a soft jingle and Bernie steps forwards. “Allow me,” she whispers hotly into Serena’s ear. She places her left hand on Serena’s hip to steady her, and she slowly leans down to pick up the keys. When she stands once more she puts the keys into Serena’s hands and cups her wrist and moves their hands to open the door together.

Serena’s breath is ragged and she whimpers at the softness of the movement and her forehead comes to rest on the door. Bernie pushes forward until her front is flush with Serena’s back and kisses the nape of her neck. Serena whimpers “Ms Wolfe.. that’s-”. She stops when the exquisite feeling of Bernie's lips threatens to undo her and she gasps "Oh." 

But Serena opens her eyes as the door opens slightly and she forces it further into the room. She grabs Bernie’s hands and hauls her in after her. The door slowly slips shut and clicks closed behind them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been to a yoga class. I made it up.


	3. The Stone in the Sea

As soon as the door is shut Bernie is slammed against it. Serena reaches up and wraps one hand around the nape of Bernie’s neck, pulling on the hair there. The other hand comes to cup her cheek as she devours Bernie’s mouth in a hungry kiss. Bernie holds up her hands, at first not knowing what to do in the face of the unexpected onslaught. The kiss is demanding and urgent and entirely unexpected. She settles her hands on Serena’s hips and sinks in to the embrace, letting Serena take what she needs.

Bernie moans low in her throat as Serena begins to nip at her upper lip and gasps when she feels Serena’s tongue in her mouth. Serena whimpers at the sensation and pushes her hips forward until they are flush with Bernie’s. She growls as Bernie’s fingers begin to dig into her hips and Bernie smiles at Serena’s blatant need. As if to punish Bernie’s grin, Serena breaks the kiss and moves to the junction of Bernie’s shoulder and neck. She scrapes her teeth up the column and Bernie’s hips buck involuntarily in response. “Oh… Serena,” Bernie whimpers as her head falls back and hits the door. Serena does not bite down but the sharp intensity of teeth on skin makes Bernie shiver and go weak at the knees.

Serena seems entirely pleased with herself and begins to nip at Bernie’s ear as she unbuttons Bernie’s blouse. Her fingers are still shaking and it is slow work, so she breaks away and focuses on one task at a time. The air is thick and heavy and Bernie just looks at Serena’s face as she reveals more and more unexplored skin. When the shirt is entirely undone Serena steps back for a moment and simply admires.

Bernie is leaning against a hotel room door, her shirt entirely undone and her black, lacy bra exposed, panting as if she had just run a marathon. Serena’s eyes are blazing and she seems to be unable to look away. Her breath comes in ragged movements and she moves forward, one arm outstretched to cup Bernie’s right breast. Bernie whimpers at the soft caress and does not move, as Serena steps closer.

“You’re so soft,” she whispers, seemingly enchanted with the delicate skin at the edge of the bra. Serena traces the outline of the undergarment and follows it until it meets the second cup. She traces up to the other breast and notices how flushed Bernie’s skin is; red and glowing and utterly beautiful. She sees her scar and traces that too, the delicate touch nearly rendering Bernie unable to breathe. The only noise in the room is Serena’s heavy breathing and Bernie feels as if she is on fire.

Serena catches fire too and launches forward once more. She tears Bernie’s blouse and blazer off, touching the skin of her upper arms, her shoulders, her collarbones. Serena’s lips follow her fingers and she consumes Bernie, kissing everywhere, as if desperate to taste every inch. She bites too, viciously and unapologetically, making Bernie cry out at unexpected intervals. Her hands are gripping Serena’s shoulders and she knows without that support she would crumble to the floor.

She feels Serena reach behind her and undo her bra and suddenly her nipples are in between unforgiving fingers and she sobs at the pleasurable pain. Serena comes ever nearer at the sound and thrusts one thigh in between Bernie’s legs. The friction makes Bernie wild with desire and she grinds down, unable to stop herself. She reaches up from Serena’s shoulders and threads her fingers through Serena’s short, luscious locks and drags her face up to her. The kiss is sloppy and wanton but Bernie _needs_ more.

Serena moans into the kiss for a moment but tears herself away. Bernie blinks at the suddenness and is worried until Serena is dragging her away from the door and to the bed. She pushes Bernie down until she is flat on her back and Serena is unbuttoning her trousers. She leans on her elbows and pushes herself up to watch Serena divesting her with carnal intention and smiles as she falls back when Serena tugs hard. When the trousers are flung to the floor Bernie realizes Serena is still fully clothed in her decadent dress. She sits up until she is at the end of the bed, Serena standing between her open legs. She meets Serena in a ferocious kiss and reaches behind her to drag the zipper down. The movement seems to surprise Serena, as Bernie’s fingers are suddenly on her skin. Serena shivers and a soft whimper escapes her throat.

Bernie ends the kiss abruptly and notes with satisfaction that Serena follows her for a moment, her eyes still closed. She smiles and waits until Serena opens her eyes, brow slightly furrowed at the interruption. “Take off your dress,” she commands softly as they look deeply into one another.

Serena’s eyes drop to Bernie’s lips at the demand but after a moment she stands back and slowly removes the dress. It pools at her feet and she stands before Bernie. The sight makes Bernie tremble and their eyes lock. Serena’s stance seems to dare Bernie to desire her, and she looks like a Grecian goddess, all curves and softness. Before Serena can reach down to pick the dress up, Bernie grabs her hand and pulls her forward, forcing Serena down on top of her. Their lips meet again and Serena mews as they lie back, pressed together.

The surprise does not last, however, and Serena grasps both of Bernie’s hands and pins them above her head. She hovers above Bernie, panting, her mouth slightly open and her eyes darker than Bernie has ever seen them. “Okay?” Serena asks with a whisper.

“Okay,” Bernie whispers back, her fingers slightly squeezing those intertwined with hers.

Serena ever so slowly lowers her lips and softly grazes Bernie’s. They take their time, the kiss brazen and slow and delicious. Bernie moans into it and cants her hips up to meet Serena, who gasps in return. When Serena is distracted by their lips, Bernie slips one thigh in between Serena’s and presses against her center. Serena gasps “ _Oh God_ ,” and pulls away from the kiss, the sensation overwhelming and her forehead drops to Bernie’s shoulder. She grinds onto the offered thigh and seems overcome, and she burrows her head into the crook of Bernie’s neck.

“I…,” she gasps, and then groans into Bernie’s skin.

But she pulls back and sits up until she is straddling Bernie and lets go of her fingers. She closes her eyes and attempts to calm her breathing. Bernie’s hands come to grasp Serena’s hips and she gently strokes the skin there. She watches Serena’s face as she continues to slow, as if trying to come back from the precipice of her desire. After about a minute Serena opens her eyes and looks down at Bernie.

The look is full of darkness and rage and utter want. Bernie goes still at the look. There is anger here; it is with them in the room. Anger at Bernie’s leaving, anger at her lying, anger at her turning Serena’s world upside down. The bitterness came up with them in the lift and has meandered after them ever since Bernie returned, haunting them.  And Serena feels the anger just as keenly as her desire. The two wage war on her features and come together to render Serena a raging sea. After that it is all biting and desperate kisses as Serena has her with ferociousness. She tears off her own undergarments and then Bernie’s pants and touches her molten heat with eager, demanding fingers. She slips one and then two fingers into her and Bernie nearly comes just at the entrance. Serena takes her hard and fast and watches Bernie with such rapt adoration that it renders Bernie breathless.

“More,” Bernie whimpers, her fingers clawing at Serena’s back.

“Yes,” Serena sobs in sympathy, as she adds another finger. Her forehead drops to touch Bernie’s and the two breathe the same air, as Serena fucks her hard.

In this moment she is like the raging sea, crashing down again and again in the storm. She strikes upon the unyielding rock, shapes it over centuries, creating cliffs and islands, and lands out of water. Softness and hardness in one element, life giving and yet somehow endlessly destructive. If Serena is the sea, than Bernie is the ancient rock, molded and bent over time and unending caresses of froth and foam. She is the stone and she yields to her lover’s storm, welcoming the waves again and again.

When she is near, Bernie arches up and captures Serena’s lips once more. The taste is exquisite and Bernie revels in the hardness of Serena’s fingers, the softness of her lips. She cries out as she comes and trembles and clings to Serena as if frightened she will wash out to sea without the anchor of her skin.

The stillness settles and Serena buries her face once more into Bernie’s shoulder, as if hiding from her own actions, her own desperation. So Bernie is slow and steady. She strokes Serena’s back, creating shivers underneath her fingertips. She gently pushes Serena back until she is splayed out before her, her breasts round and perfect, her legs open with Bernie in between.

Bernie takes her slowly, achingly so. She licks her way across Serena’s torso, lingering on the mounds and her nipples. She grazes her teeth there, making Serena gasp and clutch the sheets. She writhes when Bernie nips at her inner thighs and hisses as she soothes the skin with her tongue. And when Bernie’s nose nuzzles her soft, damp curls, Serena almost screams in desperation.

“Please… Ms Wolfe…”

At this Bernie stops and looks up from between Serena’s thighs, her head buried at the apex. She pauses and waits until Serena looks down in frustration at the lack of movement. She husks “You will call me Bernie when we are in bed Serena.”

The sensation of Bernie’s breath on her center makes Serena’s head drop back onto the bed and she looks up at the ceiling. She breaths in and out and tries to calm herself as Bernie’s nails scrape up and down along her inner thigh.

She shakes when Bernie grasps her right thigh and hoists it over her shoulder, leaving her even more exposed. Then she cries out, as Bernie licks gently up her center, stoping just short of her clit.

“Please…” she rasps. “I...oh-”

Bernie takes Serena’s clit in her mouth but does not suck or lick. She simply holds it there in her warmth, breathing and making Serena sob.

“Bernie!”

Serena’s hips thrash about as Bernie takes with her tongue on her clit and two fingers curled inside her. Slowly and with unbearable tenderness. She knows this is not what Serena expected, this kindness and devotion through lovemaking and thinks it must be exquisite torture. But if she is to have her only once, than it will be this way; making Serena beg to come, and with Bernie’s name on her lips.

Her other arm comes to loop around Serena’s hips, holding her still and allowing Bernie to devour her at the perfect angle. It makes Serena wild and she grunts and moans and buries her hands into Bernie’s hair as she grinds down upon her.

When she is close Bernie slows and pulls back and grins as Serena wails “No…. Bernie… _please_.” Serena pants and moves her hips desperately and Bernie sees her skin is shining in sweat. She takes pity and dives back down, hearing a moan before she even touches her glistening folds again. Bernie winds her up again and again, until Serena is a babbling mess.

Serena is no longer the raging sea, but a winding river, endless and inevitable. Her hips are the banks and her soul is the rapids. She carves through the world slowly but surely, making her way to the sea and pouring out until she reaches that unknown horizon. Bernie coaxes her there again and again, softly and full of infinite devotion. Serena cries when she comes and Bernie works her through it, taking her to the precipice and dragging her back into herself, back into this world.

She clings to Bernie in the aftermath and Bernie hushes her and says softly over and over “I’ve got you.” Bernie wraps her arms around her as Serena kisses her neck. They grow cold in the stillness and Bernie drags the duvet over them, creating a cocoon of warmth in the blankets.  Serena’s breath slows and she drifts to sleep.

Bernie cannot sleep. Her body is too keyed up and hums with the lingering pleasure and she can still taste Serena on her lips. She drops a kiss to Serena’s hair and whispers to her sleeping form. She says “I love you Serena. I’m so sorry.”

After a few minutes, with Serena’s head still tucked into her she says “I came back to build my life. But I can’t do it without you. You’re my cornerstone.” She sniffles as she feels tears spring to her eyes. She wipes them slowly, careful not to disturb Serena.  “It seems I can’t make sense of any of it without you.”

But Serena moves away in her sleep, and curls into herself. So Bernie sighs and reaches over to turn the light out and plunges the room into darkness.  She does not see the single tear slide down Serena’s cheek.


	4. Cornerstone

The early morning rain was soft and tapped gently on the window. Grey light filtered through the glass and Bernie woke slowly and then suddenly. She felt Serena’s breath again on her neck and turned to see that Serena was wrapped around her once more. It felt strange, extraordinary, and somehow familiar. She longed to fall back asleep, to drift forever in this haze of warmth with Serena’s arms around her.

Bernie had meant to talk to Serena this weekend, to try and explain. Instead Serena had promptly fallen asleep and Bernie had confessed all to an unconscious form. Bernie sits up slowly and leans back against the headboard. The movement causes Serena to snuggle into Bernie’s lap, her head gently resting on her left thigh. Taking the chance, Bernie slowly begins to stroke Serena’s hair, soothing and calming the wildness. The repetitive action is hypnotic and Bernie feels comforted by the feeling of Serena’s locks in her fingers. She smiles when she thinks back to last night, when Serena had gripped her hair for entirely different reasons.

It had been intense, loving Serena. Last night had solidified the notion that they were compatible in practically every way. They worked well together as co-leads, were incredibly synchronized in theatre, and quite well suited for one another in bed. The undeniable sexual chemistry did not lie.

And Bernie loves her.

It was terrifying and wonderful and frightening and made her feel light. The heaviness of the feelings Bernie carried weighed her down. But every time she sees Serena, or talks to her, or touches her hair she feels as if she could fly. Even if Serena does carry out the terms of the previous evening, labeling the encounter a one-night-stand, she will still love Serena. The finality of that should scare her; instead it simply makes her feel solid, whole, and a little grander than before. She will probably always love Serena.

Just then her stomach begins to rumble, breaking Bernie out of her intense study of Serena’s hair. She realizes that the two of them had skipped dinner and will probably be in need of sustenance soon. So Bernie regretfully untangles herself, slipping Serena’s head back onto the bed. She quickly dresses in the chill and pulls on her black trousers and white shirt before grabbing her wallet and heading out the door.

She returns after a few minutes with hidden treasures in her shopping bag and she sees Serena is still asleep. Knowing they will have to rise soon anyway, she climbs back into bed, the action dipping the mattress and waking Serena. As Bernie settles against the headboard again she begins to pull out her breakfast and turns to Serena.

Sleep still clings to her, about her eyes and in her shoulders, and she stretches out before sitting up and moving away to the far side of the bed. Bernie does not let Serena retreating get to her, but rather declares with a note of pride “I come bearing breakfast.”

Serena raises her eyebrows and slowly sits back, until her posture matches Bernie. The two of them sitting cross-legged and resting back against the headboard.

Bernie rummages through the bag before flourishing two plastic spoons, handing one to Serena and placing the other beside her. She pulls out a pint of raspberry ripple and begins to take the top off. Bernie looks over and sees that Serena is simply staring at the pint disbelievingly.

“What?” she asks, suddenly worried at her bold choice in morning cuisine.

“Nothing, it’s just that…” Serena whispers. She looks away from the quickly melting treat and back up at Bernie.

“Ice cream for breakfast,” Serena says faintly, as if it is an echo from some other time and conversation, as if saying it to her past self.

“Yup,” Bernie says with a pop of her lips, attempting to ignore the awkwardness between them. She finally opens the container and takes a spoonful before passing it to Serena who takes it after a moment’s hesitation.

“In bed,” she says softly as she stares into the creamy and red concoction.

“Hmm,” Bernie hums around the spoon in her mouth and furrows her brow in confusion.

“We are having ice cream for breakfast in bed.” Serena states, as if mulling over the words.

“Yes,” Bernie says. “Is… is that alright?”

“It’s fine,” she murmurs, and dips her own spoon into the ice cream. They eat in silence, passing back the container wordlessly and as smoothly as if it were a scalpel in theatre. Bernie glows with the quietness and smirks when they finish the entire serving.

She sits back and says “Right,” before heading into the bathroom to shower and prepare for the coming day. Serena watches her, as if suddenly fascinated with the routine of gathering one’s things to head homeward again. She notices that Serena moves slowly and seems to linger at each garment she picks up off the floor. The dress is still in a wrinkled heap by the wall, her bra on the nightstand.  Bernie wonders at the slowness but continues until they are all dressed and packed and ready for the world beyond this room, beyond this bed, beyond Serena’s head in her lap for the first and last time.

Serena heads towards the door but pauses, her hand on the door knob. She turns back to look at Bernie and her eyes glance back towards the bed than up at her. She seems at a loss and Bernie slightly tilts her head and asks without thinking “Okay?”

Serena quirks a small smile that Bernie does not quite believe and says softly “Yes, I’m okay. You?” Her eyes are back at the ground, like they were in the courtyard last night. Bernie yearns for the sparkle of Serena’s eyes, the brightness that once shone through every exchange. Serena so very rarely looks at her now. 

“I’m okay,” she says, matching Serena’s murmur, and she offers a gentle smile of her own.

Serena looks up and says “I guess the world can go round then.” She turns and opens the door.

Bernie follows silently, not really understanding Serena’s statement. They make their way to the lobby, check out, and climb into the car for the journey home. Serena turns the radio to classical music and it dances between them, voices raised in quiet exaltation of a God Bernie does not believe in. But it touches her all the same, and she feels moved by the archaic hymn.

As they pass the ancient and colossal stones Serena turns to look at her. Bernie can feel the heated gaze but does not tear her eyes from the road ahead. Serena had already accused her of being easily distracted on Friday. Stonehenge drifts away as the countryside rolls behind them. The stones linger, and then disappear below the horizon.

Serena looks at Bernie for a long time before she says hesitantly “Last night…”

She pauses and Bernie chances a quick glance over. Serena seems as if she is somewhere else and yet urgently present. Bernie wrenches her eyes back to the road and clears her throat. She swallows and says with her voice quivering, “Yes…?”

Serena begins again. “Last night you called me your cornerstone.”

Bernie’s breath hitches, and she murmurs “I… I thought you were asleep.”

Serena ignores this and asks “What did you mean by that?”

Bernie clears her throat again and after a pause says “I don’t know.”

“Bull shit,” Serena quips. She faces away and to the fields, pale green and brown, the color a sign of the coming of winter. Bernie instantly misses her eyes on her. So she looks over again and sees Serena clenching her jaw, her hands in fists at her sides.

“It was something my father used to say before he went on tour.” Bernie heaves a sigh of relief as Serena turns back at her words. “I think it’s some quote from the bible or something.”

Serena remains silent, waiting for Bernie to speak.

“Um, it…” She clears her throat and gulps before carefully saying “He would say it to my mother before he left. He would say it was the time to cast away stones.” She falls silent and still at the memory of her father leaving again and again but returning, always it seemed sooner than Bernie had dared hope. She would run out the door and down the steps, greeting him with a shout and giggles, dogs lapping at their feet, the moment shining and perfect and glazed in utter joy. Her father restored to her, safe and whole.

“I think he meant that it was time for him to leave his home with my mother and my brothers. He had to go and be a solider, and that would have to be his life for a time. He would cast away the stones of this life in order to build up the other.”

They are quiet for a time, the engine roaring, and the music playing. Bernie is lost for a time in her childhood and feels sadness in her bones and in her heart. How strange it is, to have memories follow and echo throughout time.  

“And when he came back?” Serena tenderly asks, pulling Bernie back from herself.

“He would say it was time for the gathering of stones.”

Bernie laughs gently at the memory of her father sneaking home early to surprise her mother, who cried in the kitchen at the sight of him causally strolling round the corner. The dinner growing cold on the counter, the flour in her hair getting all over her father’s uniform.

“He would come back and build his life again. And my mother was his cornerstone.” Bernie feels lost and alone in the story. But she also feels her own love enveloping her past, creating her present, and foretelling her future. Again and again returning, more yearning and happiness than Bernie ever felt in 25 years.

“Serena…” she whispers desperately. She glances over and sees Serena watching her. Her gaze fixed upon her, her eyes filled to the brim with kindness.

“Serena my entire life at Holby is built around you. The trauma unit, my friends, Jason… even Cameron.” She shakes her head and smiles at this. It seems falling under Serena’s charms is genetic. “None of it makes sense without you. I built it with you, and without you it would fall apart.”

“And… I love you.” She whispers this to the road, the path stretched out before them, guiding them home.

“Then why did you leave?” Serena asks, the question desperate and filled with grief.

“I was afraid. Afraid of what it would mean… to love my best friend.” She is brutally honest and feels the weight lift away from her; she casts it off and gathers the strength of Serena in.

“And now?”

Bernie chuckles. “Now I know I’ll probably always be a little afraid. But I would rather be afraid with you by my side.” Her smile fades and she grows serious. “If… if you’ll have me.” She hesitates and glances over.

Serena is smiling and gleaming. It takes Bernie’s breath away and she falls in love all over again.

“You idiot,” Serena says fondly through the smile.

“Pull over,” Serena commands, her voice low and dangerous.

Bernie obliges and slows the car before turning slightly off the country road. She grins as she feels Serena take hold of her blouse and drag her over the console. Serena kisses her, in the middle of nowhere and in Berne’s car, the embrace desperate and sloppy and thoroughly perfect. Bernie reaches over to thread her fingers through Serena’s hair and pulls until Serena groans and nips at her lips in retaliation.

“I love you Bernie,” Serena mumbles through the kiss, her breathing ragged and her soul soaring.

They pull back after a few moments and smile into each other’s eyes. Serena tilts her head and looks puzzled for a moment and her hand comes up to brush away Bernie’s fringe. Bernie shivers at the casual intimacy. Serena murmurs “I’m afraid too Bernie.”

She reaches out and takes Serena’s right hand, bringing it to her. She kisses the knuckles and whispers “Afraid of what?”

“That you’ll leave again. I… I don’t think I could bear it.” She breaths in and out a few times, feeling Bernie’s breath on her hand. “I won’t ask you to promise to stay. But I’m asking you to tell me. Tell me when you are afraid, when you feel the need to withdraw.” She pauses and looks to see if Bernie understands.

“I will give you anything you need Bernie. All you have to do is ask.”

Bernie bends and kisses her palm, cradles the delicate fingers that work miracles on other people’s broken bodies. These hands have saved so many. They have saved Bernie.

“Have dinner with me?”

Serena laughs and her forehead drops to Bernie’s shoulder. “We seem to have done everything backward,” she says into Bernie’s neck. She nuzzles her nose there, and Bernie turns her head to capture her lips.

“Have dinner with me, I’ll even provide the shiraz.” Bernie has a wolfish grin on her face and Serena finds it irresistible.

“Okay,” she says, gazing into Bernie’s eyes.

“Okay,” Bernie repeats, extremely pleased with the turn of events.

“Now take me home major, I’ve missed my nephew.” They pull apart and restart the car, the atmosphere changed and clear.

Bernie reaches over one last time to squeeze Serena’s hand. The car drives past the stone walls lining the roads that wind and meander across the countryside. Clouds drift and the sunlight streams down through the heavens in curtains of splintered brightness. November morning frost makes the ground hard and heralds the arrival of inevitable snowfalls, blankets of white across the valley. The music on the radio changes and the voices are raised once more in song; a hopeful hymn of the skies and of returning once more to the homeland. They sing of the gathering of stones.

 

 

 

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bible Verse: 
> 
> A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cover Art: The Gathering of Stones](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381310) by [Kayryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayryn/pseuds/Kayryn)




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